Blog 5

When I read the chapter on reproductive rights - chapter 6, I instantly knew what my next blog post would be. My mother in-law, who I am sure I have talked about before, is quite oppressed and lives by what her husband, my father-in-law says. Almost 8 years ago now, my mother-in-law began complaining about dizziness, weakness and weird body pains. This went on for some time and she kept saying she should probably go see something, but her fears were dismissed by her husband and most of her family. Finally, in December of 2003, she stood up for herself, and went to the doctor. Instantly, the doctor knew something was wrong and sent her to Indiana University Medical Center to see a specialist. She was admitted to the hospital that same day. Turns out that standing up for herself, even if just this one time was worth it. She has been diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease and amyloidosis, both very serious and degenerative diseases with no known cure. The average patient lives only 3 years after diagnosis, and my amazing mother-in-law is about to celebrate 7 years. What I wanted to reflect on is the comments that people made when she thought something was wrong, before she finally stood up for herself and went to the doctor. People said she was being weak, that maybe she needed to sleep more, than she was just PMSing, and she should just brush it off. I can't imagine if she would have just 'brushed it off' where we would be today. What the chapter discussed is that sometimes things can be brushed off by doctor's by this time, they are brushed off by the closest people in her life. While, at least in my personal opinion, men do have a higher threshold of pain, it's not ok to dismiss other's fears. I am very glad that she was able to stand up for herself and get help and that they caught it early enough to be able to treat her as effectively as possible and she has greatly lengthened her life because of it. Now, she treats her diseases with exercise, proper diet, and quarterly check-ups, although with the diseases, her life could be taken at any moment by heart attack or kidney failure, we surely hope that she keeps fighting and lives a long full life.

Blog 4

Although our topics these past two weeks were over reproductive rights and sexuality, my blog this week is actually sparked by a tragic story of a co-worker. This male co-worker is happily married with five young children, but just two weeks ago, a driver blew a stop sign, killing his wife and putting two of his children in the hospital in serious condition. It was a very sad time for him (and very much still is), but now he is back at work and I have been silently observing him trying to put all the pieces back together, and getting his life back into some sort of normality. What shocks me is that he is completely lost - he has no clue how to pay bills, who to talk to at the daycare, how to use the filing cabinet his wife had super-organized or even what accounts his check goes into. He is completely flustered and overwhelmed with getting his kids to school and daycare, keeping the house and trying to keep on top of everything else. I understand that this is a hard time and so things are going to be extra difficult, but it made me think about my marriage a bit and how women are often the "super-woman" in the relationship and do it all, running themselves ragged, often without a thank you. Through this sad time, I sat down with my husband and had a serious conversation because I realized he would be going through the same thing if something were to happen to me - he has no idea who our mortgage company even is or how to pay the bill. I know that for many many years, women were expected to do everything at home simply because they didn't work and had the time to, but when are men going to pick up some of the slack since many women are also now working full time. When are our efforts finally going to be appreciated or some of the load is going to be lightened? After a tragedy when they are forced to? I surely hope not.